The Penn State leaders in this situation took a lot of heat for the way they handled things and rightfully so in my opinion. However, it’s also been brought to my attention that in the heat of the moment, when you’re right smack in the middle of the mess, it’s not always so easy, so cut and dry, so black and white, to make the right decisions.

I have to admit, I do believe there is some truth to that. Any time you’re in the middle of the drama the right choice isn’t quite as clear or obvious as when you see the situation after the fact from the outside looking in.

So, if you want to be a great leader and coach, how do you avoid getting caught making poor choices in the heat of the moment or in the middle of the drama?  While you may not face situations as serious as the Penn State Scandal, you WILL come across many instances, as a softball coach, where you have to make a tough call while standing right smack in the middle of sticky situations.

Here’s a simple tip that will serve you well in when that time comes.  It’s an excerpt from Dave Ramsey’s best selling book on leadership called Entreleadership.

Entreleadership is available for sale at Amazon.com

Part of your ability to effectively lead your team as a softball coach depends on your ability to make quality, decisive choices in touch situations. The buck, as they say, stops with you. You are the leader of your team. You must be able to make the tough call.

I understand that it’s not always fun, or pretty, or pleasant, so I have some tips for making this part of your softball coaching job easier:

1. Remember your Non-Negotiables – These serve as a great foundation or basis for many of the hardest decisions you face as a coach. The reason you took time to think about these in the first place is so they could help make your choices easier and clearer in times like these.

2. Think long term - Successful people and successful softball coaches think blocks of time longer than just one day, one week, or even one month. Remember to consider what’s best for your whole team in the long run, not just what’s easiest TODAY for the individuals directly involved. What decision is moves your entire team closer to bigger, long term goals?

3. Hard now, easier later- You have a choice. Make the tough call now or continue dealing with ongoing issues and additional tough calls down the road. Most times tough decisions directly impact a negative situation or issue on your team. It may seem easier to “wait and see” if this problem eventually resolves on it’s own later. That would get you out of having to make a tough call now, but taking the easy way out rarely turns out well. I can tell you right now, if this situation already put you in a potential tough call position, the “wait and see” approach will only bring you greater grief down the road. The reason you feel like you’re in a tough call position is because you’re in a tough call position! You’re better off making a decisive choice NOW! Don’t wait or brush it under the carpet. It will only get harder to deal with later.

4. Consult your staff - You surrounded yourself with the staff you have for a reason. Each person has their own strengths. Each person has their own eyes. Each person has their own brain. Each person can give you some insight or perspective you may overlook on your own. Take some time to get their input. Take it into consideration, then ultimately…

5. Go with your gut - Your gut is where your non-negotiables came from in the first place. Your gut already knows the hard choice is the right one while your brain and your heart are trying to rationalize alternatives or convince you that maybe you don’t have to be so “mean.” Your gut already considered the long term view because it’s well connected with that big picture vision/dream/goal you give so much thought to and plan for. Your gut only tells you what you really, truly, honestly feel is best. It doesn’t try to rationalize. It doesn’t try to be nice. It’s just contains what you “know” deep down, you should be doing.

Most coaches who go with their gut, even when things don’t turn out, can look back at the situation and say, “I made the best decision I could in that moment and it just didn’t work out for us today. Now I’m ready to make a better decision next time.” Most can live with that. It’s usually when you don’t go with your gut that you regret it and have trouble sleeping at night! If you’re going to possibly mess up a decision, may as well make the one you can live with.

Plus, doing what you really, truly, deep down feel is best makes it easier to offer a real, genuine, sincere apology to anyone negatively affected in the process. While that won’t fix everything for them, it’s a lot easier to move on from than someone who apologizes, but, in the back of their mind, is thinking, “Sorry, but you were just a casualty of war for a decision I thought I strategically had to make.”

These tough call situations aren’t the most pleasant, but they come with the territory when you coach softball. Don’t avoid them. You softball coaching success depends partially on you dealing with these situations effectively and decisively. Hopefully some of these tips help make that easier for you!

This made a lot of sense to me and I was glad to hear that having non-negotiable values in my mind was not unreasonable and actually characteristic of a good coach.

Do you know what your non-negotiables are? Do you know what principles you stand on? Processes change but principles shouldn’t.

• What things are absolutely not allowed on your team?
• What things are absolutely required of members of your team?
• Have you ever thought about these issues?

I’ll give you an example – never, at any time in the team environment, is it acceptable for a team member to swear at other team members, coaches, opponents, umpires, or fans. Period. This is simply not an appropriate choice, ever. There WILL be a consequence for that action. Always. No exceptions.

This is an example of a non-negotiable, a principle that never changes.

So think about it for a second.

What’s non-negotiable for you? What are the principles you stand on and base decisions off of?

Having a concrete idea of these principles and values helps take the guesswork out of some of the decision making that will come your way.  These are especially useful for some of the tough calls you’ll have to make as a coach.  Don’t settle.  Don’t compromise.  Stand strong on what’s gotten you this far.

If you want a smoother running season, it really helps if these principles are clearly communicated from the beginning – with your coaching staff, with your players, and even with your parents if you are coaching youth softball.

Take Action Now

List 3-5 things you consider non-negotiable this year.  Communicate them with your coaching staff and start emphasizing these areas with your team so they know exactly what’s expected.

Here are the Top 5 Softball Goodies that would be in my shopping cart…

	Bow Net Softball Soft Toss Portable Net  I’m starting to see these nets all over the place. Seems like everyone has them and I hear they are very easy to travel with when it comes to flying via plane. Whether it’s for protecting pitchers throwing during practice or hitting into during pre-game warm-up or simply for hitting practice, this net is easy to use, set up, and transport! Buy Now
	The Softball Drill Book Whoa! That’s a lot of drills and ideas for any coach to use in practice. This book covers:  training fundamental skills position-specific skills tactical drills and more!
	Coach’s Guide to Game-Winning Softball Drills Nuff said. Really. Who wouldn’t want a book full of game winning softball drills by Michelle Smith? This book will help you coach your players to:  Master the mechanics of footwork for fielding with hustle Swing for the fences and hit the fastest pitches Catch the ball proactively and throw it quickly and accurately to its target Defend the infield and outfield with speed and confidence Run the bases swiftly and strategically Marc Dagenais actually did a video review of this book. If you want to see it, click on this link to see what Marc and other people think of this book!
	Throw Like a Girl by Jennie Finch Yup, yup! It’s the brand new book out by Jennie Finch. Since I’m doing so much reading this year, this would definitely be one I pick up! Apparently it’s a great book for any parent or young lady that wants to participate in any sport. Throw Like a Girl inspires, motivates, and answers questions about issues specific to today s female athletes including but not limited to: body image femininity vs. sports peer pressure nutrition and the balancing act today s young women construct between school, extra-curricular activities, family, and friends What a great gift this would make. Buy Now
	Padded Bucket Lid/Seat What can I say? I’m 6 months pregnant. Regular buckets are terrible to sit on right now! What’s you’re excuse for wanting one? I know you do. lol Hey, there’s even a blue one available. This bucket: Fits standard 4, 5 or 6 gallon plastic bucket EZ on- EZ off Made in USA Buy Now

1. Stop Trying to Please Everyone – I actually have an entire blog post about that here.
2. Choose Your Battles – There’s no way you can possibly cover everything there is to know about this game in one season, so don’t try. Choose your battles wisely so you can win the war. You don’t want your team to be “Jack of all trades, master of none.” Help them master essential skills then go on from there.
3. Prioritize – As a continuation from the tip above, prioritize the issues you know your team needs to work on and attack that list. I heard Cindy Bristow talk about coming up with a list of things you want your team to be able to do by the start of the season. Then making another list for where you want them to be by mid-season, and finally by the end of the season. You can also decide what’s most important for you to work on this week and plan your practices around that. Then do the same for the following week and the following week and so on.
4. Assess – The lists we talked about in the tip above, be ready and willing to relentlessly assess and reassess those lists! Make adjustments when and where necessary.
5. Maximize – Do not try to do all and be all to your team. Utilize and maximize the resources you have (especially your assistants!). You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself. Utilize the strengths you do have to the fullest, get help with everything else from others who are strong in those areas. There are lots of ways to do that! Network with others in person or online. Use google. Read books.  Talk with your assistants, they will probably have some great feedback and ideas, but you may not know if you never ask.
6. Track Progress – Celebrate victories along the way. Track your progress and your teams progress. Did you make less errors than last week? Did you get more hits than last week? Did you score more runs than last week? Did you have less missed signals than last week? Paying attention to some of these small indicators can be great motivation. It’s like taking before, during, and after pictures when you’re working out and trying to lose weight. There are times when you feel like nothing is happening, like no progress is being made because you see no evidence of it, but when you take a look at those snapshots and compare them to the previous set, you realize that progress IS being made and that helps motivate you (and your team) to keep on pushing!
7. Stay in Control - You’re players are not the only one that need a strong mental game. You do too. As much as your players need to remain composed in the face of adversity, you need to do the same. Flipping out makes things tougher on everyone!
8. Make Notes - Either keep a note pad handy or if you have a smart phone that you can keep notes on, use that. When you have ideas or have things you want to remember, jot it down! Don’t try to keep it all in your head. You’ll waste a lot of brain power trying to make sure nothing is forgotten and you’ll use up a lot of energy worrying about whether or not you got it all. Write down the important things. This will help clear your mind to address issues in a efficient manner and help make sure nothing falls through the cracks.
9. Remember Than You’re Human – Remember that even the best, most respected coaches make mistakes and get criticized. So you’re definitely not a failure just because it happens to you.  Not making every right choice or criticism from parents or fans comes with the territory. Never base your worth as a coach on the fact that you mess up from time to time or that others second guess you.
10. Mentor – Find a mentor.  Whether it’s a person you know or just great sources of information you can draw on to help you grow as a coach, find something you can turn to for answers.  It may be a person.  It may be another softball coach.  It may be a coach from another sport.  It may be a website.  I may be coaching books written by great coaches.  It may be a discussion board.  Find something you can turn to when you have questions or doubts to help lift ease of the burden.

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If you really truly want to be a great softball coach, here are 5 tips that can help you…

1. Care – You won’t be a great softball coach if you don’t genuinely care for the players you work with.  You actually have to give a hoot about your players!
2. Learn – Never stop learning.  Don’t be the coach that won’t listen to others because they feel insulted that someone is making suggestions on how they can do things better.  Look at information from clinicians, instructors, other coaches, etc as an opportunity to learn, not an insult to what you’re already doing.  Be willing to listen and take what you can to become a better coach.
3. Fail – The faster you fail, the faster you learn.  You won’t know if you’re idea is a good one or bad one unless you actually try it wholeheartedly!  If you only sorta try something it’s unlikely you’ll get great results.  If you only think about it and keep wondering if something work or not, you’ll never know and you’ll always have distracting “what if” thoughts in your head.  There’s already enough second guessing going on around your decisions as a coach, don’t add to it.  If you believe in something, go for it.  Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be smarter going forward.
4. Be Present - Most coaches expect players to leave their non-softball drama off the field, but are you doing that?  Or do you bring work problems and daily life stress to practice with you?  Are you talking to your team but thinking about the idiot at work that made your job 10 times harder?  Are you thinking about all the stuff you still have to do when you get home while running your players through drills?  If so, you are not being “present.”  If you want your players to be focused on the field, you must be also.  They can’t tell when you’re not.  They may not know why or even realize what it is that they are feeling but they will sense something is not quite right!
5. Serve – As a coach, you are a leader of your team.  I once heard that true leadership is serving.  True leaders put the best interests of those that follow them ahead of all else.  You cannot be a great coach if your main concern is you.

That’s it. If you don’t go hard, you make it tough to learn from your mistakes and tough to make sure they don’t happen again. Why? Because you’ll never really know if your “failure” happened because you didn’t go hard or because of some other issue.

Lack of effort can mask the real problem that caused the failure. It’s imperative that you go hard in order to properly troubleshoot your problems.

For example, if a player is running bases, doesn’t go hard and gets out, neither the player nor the coach know if they got out simply because they weren’t running hard or if they should have never been running in that situation to begin with.

What about those times you see a player sorta dive after a fly ball? If they don’t go hard for that ball, they’ll never know if that miss was because they shouldn’t have dove for the ball (it was too far away) or if they just missed it because they hesitated. Go hard and you’ll know the answer to that for next time!

How about that pitcher doesn’t throw her changeup “all out” and has it pounded? Tough to tell why it didn’t work. There’s more than one possible reason that pitch didn’t work, but throwing it without being fully committed to the pitch just adds one more possibility! Go hard and you make it easier to figure out what the real problem was in that situation.

If you want a weak “excuse” for your failures, continue to give half baked efforts.  Yes, it can be terrifying to do your absolute best knowing that you might still “fail” but it’s the only way you progress and grow into a better, stronger player or coach!

There were quite a few good responses that included:

• …someone who treats you like their own child.
• …a bigger influence on a player than one might think.
• …Flexible
• The temporary parent of 10-15 girls, with all the same imperfections as a parent and the same ability to influence, sometimes for a season, sometimes for a lifetime.
  …a teacher of many life lessons on and off the softball field.
• …a source from which to learn.
• …a mentor.
• …a role model.
• …someone who does all the above and loves it.
• …a human being who transforms a group of players into a team!
• …(in fastpitch) a person who teaches girls how to play, competitively.
• …a person who teaches, supports, and builds young people into adults who understand that sometimes things/situations/skills are often difficult but have the confidence to persevere, win or lose.
• …all the above but in Rec. ball and Travel a VOLUNTEER!!!!! who does the best they can and makes mistakes too…

It’s always fun to hear what others think and those are all great answers from people who obviously involved for the love of the game!

I have a few more thoughts to share with you including 5 things coaching softball means to me plus my ending to that sentence:

1. Coaching softball means putting the best interests of your players/team ahead of your own.
2. Coaching softball means making each decision based upon what you honestly believe is best for the team, not only for today, but for long term as well.
3. Coaching softball means understanding that the easy way out now rarely takes you closer to where you ultimately want to be down the road.
4. Coaching softball means being able to stand up for what you believe in both when no one will know and under the highest scrutiny.
5. But most of all, coaching softball means selflessly serving others while guiding them toward success and helping them reach their biggest goals and dreams.

So for me, A coach is…

…someone who selflessly serves others while guiding them toward success and helping them achieve their goals.

What do you think? What does coaching softball mean to you?

You can’t please everyone and it’s a big mistake to try!

With a team of 10+ girls and their parents, there is no way everyone will be happy with you all the time.  It’s like an unspoken “rule” of softball coaching, someone has to be mad or at least slightly unhappy with something you do at all times.

Let’s face it, you’re not perfect. No one is.  You cannot and will not make every perfect decision every time.  On top of that, even if you did, there would still be someone who isn’t happy.  There would still be someone you have to choose over another.  There would still be someone who your decisions benefits more or less than someone else on the team.  That’s the nature of team sports.

In youth sports, where there’s parents involved, it’s even more complicated.  See, whether you like it or not and whether they like it or not, parents typically have their own thoughts and feelings that are affected by what you do.  It’s impossible to please everyone!

Trying to do so is a big, but common mistake softball coaches make.

Remember what your purpose is.  What is it that you are trying to accomplish with this team?  What main goals do you want your players and your team to reach?  What is your long term vision for the season and possibly beyond?  Having a long term view of where you’re headed will help you stay on the track trying to please everyone can easily derail you from.

Happy Ending for Softball Team That Had Their Equipment Stolen
What a challenge for young softball players to face while traveling. Glad they caught the scum bag. Interesting to see how the coaches were able to use this situation as a teachable moment for the players.

Kelsey Bruder Named Nations Top Softball Player
Do you think she was the best choice? It’s a great honor either way. Congratulations to UF’s Kelsey Bruder on this award!

Patrick Murphy Goes Back to Alabama
After surprising me with a move to LSU last week, Murphy stuns many even more with his return to Alabama.

Softball players don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.  Many, many, many, many wise coaches have said this before me.  It’s sooooo true.  You have to get to know them. You have to genuinely be there to help them because you care about them.  You have to actually give a da**.

Now it doesn’t have to be all hugs and kisses like the picture shown here.  Even the toughest coaches out there can be respected and even liked by their players as long as the players know that the coach honestly cares about them and it doing his/her best to help them become the best they can be.

It’s not about how hard or “soft” you are as a coach that matters.  It’s where your heart is that makes a bigger impact on players.  If you want to have the biggest influence possible, it doesn’t matter how much you know until players believe you are truly there for them.

They may be younger than you, but judging from my own experience, players are not stupid.  They know when a coach is more concerned with his or her own reputation above all else.  They know when a coach really doesn’t care about what happens but is just there to fill a spot because no one else would.  They know when a coach does NOT have the players best interest at heart.

As people, we all have BS meters. That’s why we don’t trust many of the salesmen we meet, but when we come across one we trust and like, that salesman just picked up a customer for life!  Guess what?  Players have BS meters too, but when they meet a coach that passes their BS test with flying colors, most times it’s the beginning of a lifelong respect for that coach.

Most people agree that confidence plays a big part in softball performance.  Did you ever stop to think that self doubt or feelings of insecurity in other areas of life can spill over into softball?  It’s possible, but it’s tough to carry yourself with confidence on the field when you feel bad about yourself in other areas.

If you want to dramatically improve your softball performance, make sure you are making “deposits of success” in other areas of your life such as:

• relationships
• family
• leisure
• school/work
• faith
• personal development (including health/fitness)
• etc

If you are failing miserably in any of these areas, it WILL affect your softball performance.  Drama at home or with loved ones makes performing well on the field more of a challenge.  Eating poorly or participating in other bad health/nutrition habits also makes it tough to perform your best.  If you’re stressed out about a major problem at school or work, it very likely your softball performance will be less than optimal.

As much as we’d like to have softball be a separate, almost “sacred,” part of our lives untouched by anything else, the fact of the matter is, it’s not completely separate.  It’s part of your life and of you as a whole.  Take care of your “whole” self and your likely to do much better on the softball field!

A happy, relaxed, stress-free, confident YOU makes for a better overall softball player (or coach)!

So if you’d like to get those tidbits of softball info during your week, head over to

Facebook – click the “Like” button at

• Coach Stacie Facebook Page
• All About Fastpitch Facebook Page

or follow me on Twitter at

• twitter.com/staciemahoe

I’ve had quite a good response to some of the posts I’ve shared there, so I’m going to recap them all here for you…

Softball Thoughts of the Week

Agree or Disagree?

Your “Ace” is whoever’s standing in the circle giving her best for the team in that given moment.

Back when I had a “day job” I remember thinking…

Worst day at the field is still better than the best day at work

The LAST thing you need to be doing when standing up for something you believe in is worrying about what other people think – ESPECIALLY when those people have NO clue about what’s really going on.

Been there, done that, and slapped “stupid” across my own head for being foolish enough to take advice from uninformed/misinformed/under-in…formed “know-it-alls” (aka idiots). Not making that mistake twice.

Goals you set must be YOUR goals. You won’t stick with them and push through challenges if goals you have are not yours.

Playing because “daddy wants me to” is not going to pull you through when all heck is breaking loose around you, when umpires aren’t giving you calls, or when you make costly mistakes on the biggest stage of the season. You only survive and make it through times like those if you are there because YOU want to be.

This video is especially great if you’re teaching players how to properly catch a ball.  There may be a few things in here you never really thought of.  It all makes great sense though!

Take a look and see if there is something you can learn about this simple and basic softball skill.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs8TYmpgGys

This was an excellent movie and this was one of the many “best” parts of the movie!  The cool part starts about 2:00 in, but the beginning helps set it all up. Awesome coach/player moment!  Never quit.  Keep pushing.  Give your very best!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSM1mvMypWU

Oh yeah, and please excuse the typo in the video.  I didn’t do it.  It’s not my fault really – but it actually is REVFire – not Red Fire.  lol

Anyway – enjoy.  I think this thing is amazing! Go ahead.  Press Play!

Obviously the RevFire System can give you all kinds of great information about your pitching (or about your pitchers if you’re a coach):

• instant spin and speed rate feedback for pitchers
• evaluate pitching ability and technique with hard numbers
• gain new insight into training methods
• identify pitchers whose spin fades as they tire
• see who’s breaking pitches are ‘on’ during pre-game
• …and more

Get yours at SoftballTools.com

No matter how many people disagree, I will continue to say that having your elbow up before you start your swing simply isn’t necessary in order to hit the ball well. It is not an “absolute” of hitting and is basically just a personal preference for the hitter.

Here’s a screen shot of Crystl Bustos, arguably one of the best hitters in the game, from Ontario Fastpitch – her elbow is clearly not “up.”

See the full softball batting clip here.

25 Things Your Players Wish You Knew

1. I have fears and worries on and off the field.  If you can help me resolve my softball fears and worries, you become someone I want to listen to.
2. It means a lot to me when you take the time to acknowledge my effort and commitment.
3. I don’t mind putting in the time, as long as I feel it’s well spent.
4. There are times I don’t understand the concepts you’re teaching or the points you’re trying to make.  Can you make them clearer for me?
5. Not all adults I’ve seen deserve my respect so my trust and respect are not something you get “just because” you’re supposed to.
6. I know I make mistakes and I appreciate it when you acknowledge that you do too.
7. My trust and respect for your grows when you simply do what you say you will do.
8. Sometimes I don’t understand why we do the things we do, but I may not say anything because it makes me feel dumb.
9. You’re my coach.  If I’m not allowed to have “excuses” neither are you.  I don’t want to hear your excuses any more than you want to hear mine.
10. My progress as a player is more important to me than your advancement or promotion as a coach.
11. All the coaching accolades and praise you get from others mean nothing to me if you can’t help me get better.
12. I hate getting yelled at, but I love to win.
13. What you think you’re good at is not what you’re good at. Ask me, and I’ll tell you what you do better than anyone else.
14. Sometimes I am insecure about my ability, but it’s not something I talk about much, if at all.
15. I don’t always know exactly what I want, but you can help me figure it out.
16. I already know you’re not perfect and you don’t know everything, so stop trying to act like it because I plan on giving you a chance anyway.
17. I trust you more when you’re honest enough to tell me what you don’t know.
18. It’s harder for me to keep working my butt off when I feel like it doesn’t matter to anyone.
19. You lose respect from me when I can see that you’re more worried about how you look as a coach rather than how I play as a player.
20. I understand that you like players who work hard.  Heck I appreciate those types of players as a teammate, but it’s annoying when you favor players who don’t deserve it.
21. Sometimes it’s less scary to just keep doing things the old “hard” way than to learn something new.
22. My life, my fears, my goals, my challenges, and my dreams are different from anyone you’ve ever coached before.
23. The fear of trying my best and still coming up short can sometimes stop me from trying at all.
24. Help me believe that my best IS good enough and this will be an amazing experience for both of us.
25. Once you’re earned my trust and respect, you can mess up every now and then and I will forgive you (so long as I don’t feel like you take me for granted).

If you like this post, please share it with others!

Flickr photo from flemingwalt

Make sure to set up and practice fly ball priorities, not only so you can get more outs, but for optimal safety of the players as well!

This video shows how to set up fly ball priorities on the field as well as shares some other outfield fundamental concepts any coach or player should know.

Enjoy!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMamVxOOQzo

One poster over at DiscussFastpitch.com said that I would be surprised at just how much territory can be covered if a defender is standing off to the inside of a basepath (in order to avoid obstruction) basically saying that an average person would have the reach to make a tag from this position.  I was arguing that the defender shouldn’t have to give up that lane and make things easier for the runner.  This person was trying to tell me that the defender can still be make the play even if they do give up the basepath.  So I had to do a little experiment to see if that person was right.

Another issue that came up was path to the bag/plate. Some coaches feel the best route to a bag is always directly at it - why go any other way?  Find out in this video.

If you want to be able to:

• go full speed to the plate (instead of slowing down to avoid the catcher)
• not have to change direction en route to the plate (in order to avoid the catcher)
• be able to avoid major collisions
• AND give yourself the best chance at being safe at home on a tag play

This is a must see video clip. Plus you’ll see why I disagree with the coaches who think that a direct line to the bag is always the best route.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ8hAgYdeUk

Here is the math I used to figure out how much farther an “out route” is as compared to running direction from one base to the next.

Last Note: I’m not saying that running to the “outside” is always best.  If the defender is outside, then running to the inside would be better (i.e. you tag up on 2nd and are running to 3rd and 3b is receving the ball from left-center).  Point is, as a runner, make the play as tough for the defense as possible by not running straight into the tag.  Choose a route that will make the defense work harder to apply the tag on you.