click on image to enlarge

This made a lot of sense to me and I was glad to hear that having non-negotiable values in my mind was not unreasonable and actually characteristic of a good coach.

Do you know what your non-negotiables are? Do you know what principles you stand on? Processes change but principles shouldn’t.

• What things are absolutely not allowed on your team?
• What things are absolutely required of members of your team?
• Have you ever thought about these issues?

I’ll give you an example – never, at any time in the team environment, is it acceptable for a team member to swear at other team members, coaches, opponents, umpires, or fans. Period. This is simply not an appropriate choice, ever. There WILL be a consequence for that action. Always. No exceptions.

This is an example of a non-negotiable, a principle that never changes.

So think about it for a second.

What’s non-negotiable for you? What are the principles you stand on and base decisions off of?

Having a concrete idea of these principles and values helps take the guesswork out of some of the decision making that will come your way.  These are especially useful for some of the tough calls you’ll have to make as a coach.  Don’t settle.  Don’t compromise.  Stand strong on what’s gotten you this far.

If you want a smoother running season, it really helps if these principles are clearly communicated from the beginning – with your coaching staff, with your players, and even with your parents if you are coaching youth softball.

Take Action Now

List 3-5 things you consider non-negotiable this year.  Communicate them with your coaching staff and start emphasizing these areas with your team so they know exactly what’s expected.

If you act, think, and talk like a loser, what do you think you’re going to be?

Probably a loser.

Now when I say loser, I’m not referring to teams or players that end up on the losing side of a competition, game, or tournament. I’m talking about people who never reach their full potential because they rather make excuses than work hard. They have a loser mentality and constantly use loser language. They’re typically hard to help and/or coach because, the truth is, they don’t really want help and don’t really want to be coached!  I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to help someone who didn’t want to help themselves.  It just doesn’t work.

With that said…

It’s tough to be a “winner” when you spend all your time and energy acting, thinking, and talking like a loser.

If you want to experience increased softball success, here are a two things you must do…

Lose the Loser Language
You can’t think or talk like a loser and expect success.  So it’s time to start eliminating your loser language.  These include words and phrases likes the ones below (I can’t, I don’t, But,):

• I can’t do that…
• But I don’t know how to…
• I don’t know if I can…
• That’s too hard…
• Only bigger/faster/stronger players can so that…
• But that’s not how I do it…
• But that feels weird…
• But I never…
• I could do that if…
• I don’t have time…
• I’m too busy…
• It’s not my fault…
• If I had more ______ then I could/would be able to _______ too

Stop Doing What Losers Do
You can’t act like a loser and expect success. It’s time to suck it up and stop:

• Making excuses
• Getting defensive when others offer suggestions
• Looking for other things or people to blame for your failures
• Looking for the easiest way out of having to deal with problems vs finding the best way to work through/solve/overcome that problem
• Waiting for others to tell you what to do or solve your problems for you vs taking responsibility for your own performance
• Focusing on the obstacles, problems, and reasons why you “can’t”
• Allowing circumstances around you dictate your confidence level and how you perform
• Worrying about things you can’t control
• Failing to take control of the things you can control

If you truly want to increase your softball success, you must first change your mindset!

If you did, that’s okay. That’s what most people do. While I hope you’re not trying to be like most people (aka ordinary or average), the important thing is not when you start but that you DO get started!

That said, the first day of the year has come and gone. Did you DO anything to move yourself closer to your goals?

I know I did!

Think about it right now. What one thing can you do today that will get you moving in the right direction? It doesn’t have to be something big. Baby steps work!

Choose one thing and commit to getting it done today!

If you feel like sharing, please leave a comment and tell me what your one thing is. I’d love to hear from you.

I often hear parents ask whether or not they should put they daughter on a more competitive and more successful team.  If that’s what your daughter is ready for and wants to do, generally speaking, it’s a great idea. However, one parent in particular mentioned that the coach of a team they were considering had a long reputation of dropping existing players for latest, hottest new recruits.  This parent had seen it happen.  Girls were dropped from this team after a year or two in favor of bringing on other good players that became available.  I was thinking his daughter was probably one of the “new” ones being brought on in favor of an existing player they wanted to or had already dropped.  Obviously he was worried about that same thing happening to his daughter.

Now it’s one thing to move forward as a program by removing players who are not a good fit and bringing on ones that are a better fit.  In that situation, it’s probably best for all parties involved even though it’s a difficult situation to have to go through on both sides.

However it’s another thing when the coach just likes to “trade up” any chance they get as if players are nothing but commodities.  Personally, it’s not a team environment I’m going to voluntarily sign my daughter up to be in (and pay to be a part of on top of that).  I want her to be surrounded by quality players and coaches.  I’m not going to sign her up for a team that happens to have good players because the coach possesses the skills of a smooth talking but sleezy car salesman and has happened to convince a handful of parents to come join his team.  It’s just not something I’d want to be a part of, nor is it a situation I want to voluntarily put my child in.

Remember, this is youth sports we’re talking about. While softball has definitely become more and more competitive and some of it is very, very serious, there are still limits to which I will go in order for my daughter to “get ahead.”  That’s not something I go after “at all costs” and certainly not at the expense of going against my values and not at the expense of my daughter’s experience with the game.  I prefer not to put her in a situations where she may get the idea that I actually approve of that type of “ambition.”

There are other ways – ways that you can stand behind and say you believe in wholeheartedly.  There are other teams – teams that you are not the least bit ashamed to be associated with.

No coach is perfect. Every coach has their weaknesses, but I can accept that a coach does not know everything.  That’s okay, but I’m not going to choose a coach who “can help my daughter get to college” but does things in a way that conflicts completely with my principles with over one who embodies the integrity with which I want my daughter to play this game with but may not have the same connections and/or college recruiting knowledge.

Remember, it’s not coaches job to get your daughter into college anyway.  Your daughter’s coach is just one tool, one of the many resources along her softball and college recruiting journey.  Ultimately your daughter’s college recruiting process is not her coaches responsibility.  It’s hers and yours.  This is her future.  This is her life.  This is your child’s future.  This is your child’s life.

Don’t wait for someone else to “take care of it” for you. Get informed.  Talk to others that DO have the expertise you need.  Ask questions.  Be proactive in the journey and in your quest to learn what you need to learn to make sure things work out well for your child.

In other words, if there is a great coach out there that may be a little weaker than another in one certain area, there are usually ways to work around that.  That one area, in and of itself, is not a good reason to choose or dismiss a coach and their program.

Remember to look at the big picture…..

• What is most important to you in your daughter’s softball experience and journey?
• What is most important to her?
• What principles, characteristics, or qualities are non-negotiable when it comes to the environment you want your daughter experiencing this game in?
• What areas can you “give” a little on?
• What weaknesses in potential programs can you work around?

Knowing the answers to these questions helps a great deal when choosing a team for your daughter.  Oh, and if you have the chance, talk to parents who already have daughters on the team.  Talk to parent of players who used to be with the team but aren’t any more.  What do they like most?  What don’t they like about the program?  What is the biggest thing, if any, they wish they could change about the program or team?  If they are no longer there, why did they leave?

Hope that helps!

1. Stop Trying to Please Everyone – I actually have an entire blog post about that here.
2. Choose Your Battles – There’s no way you can possibly cover everything there is to know about this game in one season, so don’t try. Choose your battles wisely so you can win the war. You don’t want your team to be “Jack of all trades, master of none.” Help them master essential skills then go on from there.
3. Prioritize – As a continuation from the tip above, prioritize the issues you know your team needs to work on and attack that list. I heard Cindy Bristow talk about coming up with a list of things you want your team to be able to do by the start of the season. Then making another list for where you want them to be by mid-season, and finally by the end of the season. You can also decide what’s most important for you to work on this week and plan your practices around that. Then do the same for the following week and the following week and so on.
4. Assess – The lists we talked about in the tip above, be ready and willing to relentlessly assess and reassess those lists! Make adjustments when and where necessary.
5. Maximize – Do not try to do all and be all to your team. Utilize and maximize the resources you have (especially your assistants!). You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself. Utilize the strengths you do have to the fullest, get help with everything else from others who are strong in those areas. There are lots of ways to do that! Network with others in person or online. Use google. Read books.  Talk with your assistants, they will probably have some great feedback and ideas, but you may not know if you never ask.
6. Track Progress – Celebrate victories along the way. Track your progress and your teams progress. Did you make less errors than last week? Did you get more hits than last week? Did you score more runs than last week? Did you have less missed signals than last week? Paying attention to some of these small indicators can be great motivation. It’s like taking before, during, and after pictures when you’re working out and trying to lose weight. There are times when you feel like nothing is happening, like no progress is being made because you see no evidence of it, but when you take a look at those snapshots and compare them to the previous set, you realize that progress IS being made and that helps motivate you (and your team) to keep on pushing!
7. Stay in Control - You’re players are not the only one that need a strong mental game. You do too. As much as your players need to remain composed in the face of adversity, you need to do the same. Flipping out makes things tougher on everyone!
8. Make Notes - Either keep a note pad handy or if you have a smart phone that you can keep notes on, use that. When you have ideas or have things you want to remember, jot it down! Don’t try to keep it all in your head. You’ll waste a lot of brain power trying to make sure nothing is forgotten and you’ll use up a lot of energy worrying about whether or not you got it all. Write down the important things. This will help clear your mind to address issues in a efficient manner and help make sure nothing falls through the cracks.
9. Remember Than You’re Human – Remember that even the best, most respected coaches make mistakes and get criticized. So you’re definitely not a failure just because it happens to you.  Not making every right choice or criticism from parents or fans comes with the territory. Never base your worth as a coach on the fact that you mess up from time to time or that others second guess you.
10. Mentor – Find a mentor.  Whether it’s a person you know or just great sources of information you can draw on to help you grow as a coach, find something you can turn to for answers.  It may be a person.  It may be another softball coach.  It may be a coach from another sport.  It may be a website.  I may be coaching books written by great coaches.  It may be a discussion board.  Find something you can turn to when you have questions or doubts to help lift ease of the burden.

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If you really truly want to be a great softball coach, here are 5 tips that can help you…

1. Care – You won’t be a great softball coach if you don’t genuinely care for the players you work with.  You actually have to give a hoot about your players!
2. Learn – Never stop learning.  Don’t be the coach that won’t listen to others because they feel insulted that someone is making suggestions on how they can do things better.  Look at information from clinicians, instructors, other coaches, etc as an opportunity to learn, not an insult to what you’re already doing.  Be willing to listen and take what you can to become a better coach.
3. Fail – The faster you fail, the faster you learn.  You won’t know if you’re idea is a good one or bad one unless you actually try it wholeheartedly!  If you only sorta try something it’s unlikely you’ll get great results.  If you only think about it and keep wondering if something work or not, you’ll never know and you’ll always have distracting “what if” thoughts in your head.  There’s already enough second guessing going on around your decisions as a coach, don’t add to it.  If you believe in something, go for it.  Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be smarter going forward.
4. Be Present - Most coaches expect players to leave their non-softball drama off the field, but are you doing that?  Or do you bring work problems and daily life stress to practice with you?  Are you talking to your team but thinking about the idiot at work that made your job 10 times harder?  Are you thinking about all the stuff you still have to do when you get home while running your players through drills?  If so, you are not being “present.”  If you want your players to be focused on the field, you must be also.  They can’t tell when you’re not.  They may not know why or even realize what it is that they are feeling but they will sense something is not quite right!
5. Serve – As a coach, you are a leader of your team.  I once heard that true leadership is serving.  True leaders put the best interests of those that follow them ahead of all else.  You cannot be a great coach if your main concern is you.

That’s it. If you don’t go hard, you make it tough to learn from your mistakes and tough to make sure they don’t happen again. Why? Because you’ll never really know if your “failure” happened because you didn’t go hard or because of some other issue.

Lack of effort can mask the real problem that caused the failure. It’s imperative that you go hard in order to properly troubleshoot your problems.

For example, if a player is running bases, doesn’t go hard and gets out, neither the player nor the coach know if they got out simply because they weren’t running hard or if they should have never been running in that situation to begin with.

What about those times you see a player sorta dive after a fly ball? If they don’t go hard for that ball, they’ll never know if that miss was because they shouldn’t have dove for the ball (it was too far away) or if they just missed it because they hesitated. Go hard and you’ll know the answer to that for next time!

How about that pitcher doesn’t throw her changeup “all out” and has it pounded? Tough to tell why it didn’t work. There’s more than one possible reason that pitch didn’t work, but throwing it without being fully committed to the pitch just adds one more possibility! Go hard and you make it easier to figure out what the real problem was in that situation.

If you want a weak “excuse” for your failures, continue to give half baked efforts.  Yes, it can be terrifying to do your absolute best knowing that you might still “fail” but it’s the only way you progress and grow into a better, stronger player or coach!

What is your arm/elbow positioning and movement as it approaches release? If it’s not similar to this, you’re probably losing quite a bit of speed and power. A locked out elbow through the pitching motion does not generate your full pitching speed or your full pitching power. Watch how Ueno’s elbow reaches her side/hip far before the ball does. It’s not only about wrist snap people!

Thanks to Ray aka sluggers for sharing this clip at DiscussFastpitch.com. By the way, if you’ve never really spent time over at Discuss Fastpitch, drop by! It’s a great place to talk story with other people who love softball and also a great place to get answers to softball questions you may have. Hope to see you there!

It’s chocolate milk! Yum

My kids and I don’t care a whole lot for regular milk, but we can drink lots of chocolate milk.

Someone recently commented at SoftballPerformance.com asking if chocolate milk was really a good after exercise drink. Since then I found out that Canada’s milk industry has utilized the opportunity to promote chocolate milk to athletes on the same level that Gatorade promotes their products to athletes.

Then I came across The Trophy Mom, she’s a sports mom turned blogger. She had me at “sports mom” then she also retweeted me on twitter, so I knew she was a sharp lady.

Anyway, she had an article on her blog about this same topic. She talked about how chocolate milk “has an optimal carbohydrate to protein ratio, essential to restoring muscles and energy, and a bunch of other good stuff like Vitamin D that helps athletic performance and growing kids.”

Whaddya know? So maybe I did know what I was doing in high school. lol  Our school had those soda fountain type drink dispensers. There was no soda, but there was fruit juice, milk, and chocolate milk. Every day at lunch I’d have two glasses of ice cold chocolate milk!  Delicious.

Well, after finding out that chocolate milk may actually be good for athletes, I had to dig a little more and found this CBS News article from 2006 (I know I’m a little behind but stick with me) which says…

A new study shows that plain old chocolate milk may be as good — or better — than sports drinks like Gatorade at helping athletes recover from strenuous exercise.

That’s cool, but obviously I wanted to find something a little more up to date, so I found an article posted just this month at bmedreport.com which states

Grabbing lowfat chocolate milk after a tough workout helped give both trained and amateur athletes a post-exercise training advantage, according to three new studies presented at the American College of Sports Medicine and published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research this month.

Is that cool or what? These people are in the business of finding and understanding what’s good for athletes and even they say low fat chocolate milk (I usually drink 1%) gives athletes a post-exercise training advantage. What athlete doesn’t want an advantage?  This one you can gain without cheating. Just pick up some low fat chocolate milk next time you’re at the grocery store.  I know I will.

photo credit: chocolate milk

Most people agree that confidence plays a big part in softball performance.  Did you ever stop to think that self doubt or feelings of insecurity in other areas of life can spill over into softball?  It’s possible, but it’s tough to carry yourself with confidence on the field when you feel bad about yourself in other areas.

If you want to dramatically improve your softball performance, make sure you are making “deposits of success” in other areas of your life such as:

• relationships
• family
• leisure
• school/work
• faith
• personal development (including health/fitness)
• etc

If you are failing miserably in any of these areas, it WILL affect your softball performance.  Drama at home or with loved ones makes performing well on the field more of a challenge.  Eating poorly or participating in other bad health/nutrition habits also makes it tough to perform your best.  If you’re stressed out about a major problem at school or work, it very likely your softball performance will be less than optimal.

As much as we’d like to have softball be a separate, almost “sacred,” part of our lives untouched by anything else, the fact of the matter is, it’s not completely separate.  It’s part of your life and of you as a whole.  Take care of your “whole” self and your likely to do much better on the softball field!

A happy, relaxed, stress-free, confident YOU makes for a better overall softball player (or coach)!

So if you’d like to get those tidbits of softball info during your week, head over to

Facebook – click the “Like” button at

• Coach Stacie Facebook Page
• All About Fastpitch Facebook Page

or follow me on Twitter at

• twitter.com/staciemahoe

I’ve had quite a good response to some of the posts I’ve shared there, so I’m going to recap them all here for you…

Softball Thoughts of the Week

Agree or Disagree?

Your “Ace” is whoever’s standing in the circle giving her best for the team in that given moment.

Back when I had a “day job” I remember thinking…

Worst day at the field is still better than the best day at work

The LAST thing you need to be doing when standing up for something you believe in is worrying about what other people think – ESPECIALLY when those people have NO clue about what’s really going on.

Been there, done that, and slapped “stupid” across my own head for being foolish enough to take advice from uninformed/misinformed/under-in…formed “know-it-alls” (aka idiots). Not making that mistake twice.

Goals you set must be YOUR goals. You won’t stick with them and push through challenges if goals you have are not yours.

Playing because “daddy wants me to” is not going to pull you through when all heck is breaking loose around you, when umpires aren’t giving you calls, or when you make costly mistakes on the biggest stage of the season. You only survive and make it through times like those if you are there because YOU want to be.

This video is especially great if you’re teaching players how to properly catch a ball.  There may be a few things in here you never really thought of.  It all makes great sense though!

Take a look and see if there is something you can learn about this simple and basic softball skill.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs8TYmpgGys

Oh yeah, and please excuse the typo in the video.  I didn’t do it.  It’s not my fault really – but it actually is REVFire – not Red Fire.  lol

Anyway – enjoy.  I think this thing is amazing! Go ahead.  Press Play!

Obviously the RevFire System can give you all kinds of great information about your pitching (or about your pitchers if you’re a coach):

• instant spin and speed rate feedback for pitchers
• evaluate pitching ability and technique with hard numbers
• gain new insight into training methods
• identify pitchers whose spin fades as they tire
• see who’s breaking pitches are ‘on’ during pre-game
• …and more

Get yours at SoftballTools.com

Watch this video, then think about whether or not you’re ready for this.  Think about whether or not you’re on the path to being able to handle this?  Are you training as hard as your competition?  Or is someone out there going to take your spot because they trained harder and prepared better than you?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRco1ZgQl9k

1. because he actually throws the pitch in competition against real batters (not just teach it)
2. because he not only is a pitcher, but is a pitcher that competes internationally against some of the best men’s fastpitch players in the world
3. and of course, because he has a cool rise ball!  If you ever see him throw it in person you’d agree.

Click HERE to watch the Rise Ball Grip video clip

Watch this softball hitting video by Jessica Mendoza to see the proper way to set up your tee drills for maximum effectiveness.

25 Things Your Players Wish You Knew

1. I have fears and worries on and off the field.  If you can help me resolve my softball fears and worries, you become someone I want to listen to.
2. It means a lot to me when you take the time to acknowledge my effort and commitment.
3. I don’t mind putting in the time, as long as I feel it’s well spent.
4. There are times I don’t understand the concepts you’re teaching or the points you’re trying to make.  Can you make them clearer for me?
5. Not all adults I’ve seen deserve my respect so my trust and respect are not something you get “just because” you’re supposed to.
6. I know I make mistakes and I appreciate it when you acknowledge that you do too.
7. My trust and respect for your grows when you simply do what you say you will do.
8. Sometimes I don’t understand why we do the things we do, but I may not say anything because it makes me feel dumb.
9. You’re my coach.  If I’m not allowed to have “excuses” neither are you.  I don’t want to hear your excuses any more than you want to hear mine.
10. My progress as a player is more important to me than your advancement or promotion as a coach.
11. All the coaching accolades and praise you get from others mean nothing to me if you can’t help me get better.
12. I hate getting yelled at, but I love to win.
13. What you think you’re good at is not what you’re good at. Ask me, and I’ll tell you what you do better than anyone else.
14. Sometimes I am insecure about my ability, but it’s not something I talk about much, if at all.
15. I don’t always know exactly what I want, but you can help me figure it out.
16. I already know you’re not perfect and you don’t know everything, so stop trying to act like it because I plan on giving you a chance anyway.
17. I trust you more when you’re honest enough to tell me what you don’t know.
18. It’s harder for me to keep working my butt off when I feel like it doesn’t matter to anyone.
19. You lose respect from me when I can see that you’re more worried about how you look as a coach rather than how I play as a player.
20. I understand that you like players who work hard.  Heck I appreciate those types of players as a teammate, but it’s annoying when you favor players who don’t deserve it.
21. Sometimes it’s less scary to just keep doing things the old “hard” way than to learn something new.
22. My life, my fears, my goals, my challenges, and my dreams are different from anyone you’ve ever coached before.
23. The fear of trying my best and still coming up short can sometimes stop me from trying at all.
24. Help me believe that my best IS good enough and this will be an amazing experience for both of us.
25. Once you’re earned my trust and respect, you can mess up every now and then and I will forgive you (so long as I don’t feel like you take me for granted).

If you like this post, please share it with others!

Flickr photo from flemingwalt

Six Costly Mental Game Mistakes Softball Players Make While Batting

Find out:

• How your mind can be your best or worst asset during batting.
• If you are using your mind effectively to get a hit.
• A critical mental game mistake that can erase your confidence at the plate!
• How to prepare your mind using an at-bat routine.

Most coaches and players realize that softball hitting is more mental than anything and getting hits in a game is one of the most exciting parts of the game.  This report can help you identify the major mental game mistakes you are making in the box so that you can make changes to drastically improve your hitting performance!

Why is this important, well, most people also know that if you hit, you play.  Now this is not a hard and fast rule of course, but more often than not, if you’re hitting the ball, your coach will try to find a way to get you in the game. So if you want to guarantee yourself more playing time or a solid spot in the lineup, being the best hitter you can be is the way to help get there.  But you won’t get there if you’re making one of these Six Costly Mental Game Mistakes!

Grab your free report today so you can get more hits and be a force to be reckoned with in the box.

*Note: all links contained in this post for the free report are affiliate links