The Penn State leaders in this situation took a lot of heat for the way they handled things and rightfully so in my opinion. However, it’s also been brought to my attention that in the heat of the moment, when you’re right smack in the middle of the mess, it’s not always so easy, so cut and dry, so black and white, to make the right decisions.

I have to admit, I do believe there is some truth to that. Any time you’re in the middle of the drama the right choice isn’t quite as clear or obvious as when you see the situation after the fact from the outside looking in.

So, if you want to be a great leader and coach, how do you avoid getting caught making poor choices in the heat of the moment or in the middle of the drama?  While you may not face situations as serious as the Penn State Scandal, you WILL come across many instances, as a softball coach, where you have to make a tough call while standing right smack in the middle of sticky situations.

Here’s a simple tip that will serve you well in when that time comes.  It’s an excerpt from Dave Ramsey’s best selling book on leadership called Entreleadership.

Entreleadership is available for sale at Amazon.com

Part of your ability to effectively lead your team as a softball coach depends on your ability to make quality, decisive choices in touch situations. The buck, as they say, stops with you. You are the leader of your team. You must be able to make the tough call.

I understand that it’s not always fun, or pretty, or pleasant, so I have some tips for making this part of your softball coaching job easier:

1. Remember your Non-Negotiables – These serve as a great foundation or basis for many of the hardest decisions you face as a coach. The reason you took time to think about these in the first place is so they could help make your choices easier and clearer in times like these.

2. Think long term - Successful people and successful softball coaches think blocks of time longer than just one day, one week, or even one month. Remember to consider what’s best for your whole team in the long run, not just what’s easiest TODAY for the individuals directly involved. What decision is moves your entire team closer to bigger, long term goals?

3. Hard now, easier later- You have a choice. Make the tough call now or continue dealing with ongoing issues and additional tough calls down the road. Most times tough decisions directly impact a negative situation or issue on your team. It may seem easier to “wait and see” if this problem eventually resolves on it’s own later. That would get you out of having to make a tough call now, but taking the easy way out rarely turns out well. I can tell you right now, if this situation already put you in a potential tough call position, the “wait and see” approach will only bring you greater grief down the road. The reason you feel like you’re in a tough call position is because you’re in a tough call position! You’re better off making a decisive choice NOW! Don’t wait or brush it under the carpet. It will only get harder to deal with later.

4. Consult your staff - You surrounded yourself with the staff you have for a reason. Each person has their own strengths. Each person has their own eyes. Each person has their own brain. Each person can give you some insight or perspective you may overlook on your own. Take some time to get their input. Take it into consideration, then ultimately…

5. Go with your gut - Your gut is where your non-negotiables came from in the first place. Your gut already knows the hard choice is the right one while your brain and your heart are trying to rationalize alternatives or convince you that maybe you don’t have to be so “mean.” Your gut already considered the long term view because it’s well connected with that big picture vision/dream/goal you give so much thought to and plan for. Your gut only tells you what you really, truly, honestly feel is best. It doesn’t try to rationalize. It doesn’t try to be nice. It’s just contains what you “know” deep down, you should be doing.

Most coaches who go with their gut, even when things don’t turn out, can look back at the situation and say, “I made the best decision I could in that moment and it just didn’t work out for us today. Now I’m ready to make a better decision next time.” Most can live with that. It’s usually when you don’t go with your gut that you regret it and have trouble sleeping at night! If you’re going to possibly mess up a decision, may as well make the one you can live with.

Plus, doing what you really, truly, deep down feel is best makes it easier to offer a real, genuine, sincere apology to anyone negatively affected in the process. While that won’t fix everything for them, it’s a lot easier to move on from than someone who apologizes, but, in the back of their mind, is thinking, “Sorry, but you were just a casualty of war for a decision I thought I strategically had to make.”

These tough call situations aren’t the most pleasant, but they come with the territory when you coach softball. Don’t avoid them. You softball coaching success depends partially on you dealing with these situations effectively and decisively. Hopefully some of these tips help make that easier for you!

You ever see those players who just jump to the front of the line no matter what drill? The ones that don’t care if the drill is fun or boring, difficult or easy, well known or unfamiliar, it doesn’t matter, they just want to get in there and do it!

I think most coaches love those kinds of players. Those players, I would say, are motivated and driven.

Then there are the others. The ones who want to claim the privilege of going first because they are older or because they’ve been on the team longer or because they are somehow better than everyone else (i.e. it’s a sprinting game and they are one of the fastest ones on the team).

Now, even that’s not all that terrible if they naturally step into more of a leadership role because they’re older, more experienced, or more skilled.

But the ones that drive me bonkers are the ones that want to claim that role and clamin that privilege of getting the first shot, but only when they feel like it. The rest of the time – if the drill isn’t fun, or if it’s too challenging, or if it’s tiring, or if it’s uncomfortable because they aren’t used to it…any time it’s not convenient for them or when it’s tougher or less exciting, they want to go hide out at the back of the line and let everyone else take on the challenge first.

Lose money…

You want to step up and tell others they need to follow you? Do it all the time, not only when you feel like it or when it’s easy.

This made a lot of sense to me and I was glad to hear that having non-negotiable values in my mind was not unreasonable and actually characteristic of a good coach.

Do you know what your non-negotiables are? Do you know what principles you stand on? Processes change but principles shouldn’t.

• What things are absolutely not allowed on your team?
• What things are absolutely required of members of your team?
• Have you ever thought about these issues?

I’ll give you an example – never, at any time in the team environment, is it acceptable for a team member to swear at other team members, coaches, opponents, umpires, or fans. Period. This is simply not an appropriate choice, ever. There WILL be a consequence for that action. Always. No exceptions.

This is an example of a non-negotiable, a principle that never changes.

So think about it for a second.

What’s non-negotiable for you? What are the principles you stand on and base decisions off of?

Having a concrete idea of these principles and values helps take the guesswork out of some of the decision making that will come your way.  These are especially useful for some of the tough calls you’ll have to make as a coach.  Don’t settle.  Don’t compromise.  Stand strong on what’s gotten you this far.

If you want a smoother running season, it really helps if these principles are clearly communicated from the beginning – with your coaching staff, with your players, and even with your parents if you are coaching youth softball.

Take Action Now

List 3-5 things you consider non-negotiable this year.  Communicate them with your coaching staff and start emphasizing these areas with your team so they know exactly what’s expected.

If you act, think, and talk like a loser, what do you think you’re going to be?

Probably a loser.

Now when I say loser, I’m not referring to teams or players that end up on the losing side of a competition, game, or tournament. I’m talking about people who never reach their full potential because they rather make excuses than work hard. They have a loser mentality and constantly use loser language. They’re typically hard to help and/or coach because, the truth is, they don’t really want help and don’t really want to be coached!  I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to help someone who didn’t want to help themselves.  It just doesn’t work.

With that said…

It’s tough to be a “winner” when you spend all your time and energy acting, thinking, and talking like a loser.

If you want to experience increased softball success, here are a two things you must do…

Lose the Loser Language
You can’t think or talk like a loser and expect success.  So it’s time to start eliminating your loser language.  These include words and phrases likes the ones below (I can’t, I don’t, But,):

• I can’t do that…
• But I don’t know how to…
• I don’t know if I can…
• That’s too hard…
• Only bigger/faster/stronger players can so that…
• But that’s not how I do it…
• But that feels weird…
• But I never…
• I could do that if…
• I don’t have time…
• I’m too busy…
• It’s not my fault…
• If I had more ______ then I could/would be able to _______ too

Stop Doing What Losers Do
You can’t act like a loser and expect success. It’s time to suck it up and stop:

• Making excuses
• Getting defensive when others offer suggestions
• Looking for other things or people to blame for your failures
• Looking for the easiest way out of having to deal with problems vs finding the best way to work through/solve/overcome that problem
• Waiting for others to tell you what to do or solve your problems for you vs taking responsibility for your own performance
• Focusing on the obstacles, problems, and reasons why you “can’t”
• Allowing circumstances around you dictate your confidence level and how you perform
• Worrying about things you can’t control
• Failing to take control of the things you can control

If you truly want to increase your softball success, you must first change your mindset!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMCpDd0NB9M

• It’s hot outside - no one needs to say it again. (in other words, stop your whining and do it! lol)
• You can invest your time or you can spend your time.
• Successful people have consistency in performance.
• You can have no great victories in your life, unless you can overcome adversity, because the adversity is what makes it the challenge.
• The greatest opportunity to learn is when you make a mistake.
• …every minute of every day you are selling something. You are either selling positive, or you’re selling negative.
• …when you come out on the field to practice, you know what I want to see? I want to see somebody’s positive energy that is affecting somebody else to do it better.
• …you have to learn how to work, you only get out of something what you put in it, you reap what you sow, you have to work.
• Do you know what your character is? It is the accumulation of your thoughts, your habits and your priorities, on a day to day basis. That’s what makes the choices that you make. It is the accumulation of your thoughts, your habits and your priorities, and the choices that you make, make you who you are.
• You are going through the pain of discipline, or the pain of disappointment.
• That is what we expect you to learn, and be able to do, in this camp, is to have the discipline to sustain and be a relentless competitor, and have pride in your performance of doing everything that you do at this camp the best that you can do it, because that becomes a habit.

There are probably a few things I missed that I really liked, but this is such a great talk that offers so many great tips for those who really want to make some positive changes.  It starts with a MINDSET (not with ability).

If you did, that’s okay. That’s what most people do. While I hope you’re not trying to be like most people (aka ordinary or average), the important thing is not when you start but that you DO get started!

That said, the first day of the year has come and gone. Did you DO anything to move yourself closer to your goals?

I know I did!

Think about it right now. What one thing can you do today that will get you moving in the right direction? It doesn’t have to be something big. Baby steps work!

Choose one thing and commit to getting it done today!

If you feel like sharing, please leave a comment and tell me what your one thing is. I’d love to hear from you.

Here are the Top 5 Softball Goodies that would be in my shopping cart…

	Bow Net Softball Soft Toss Portable Net  I’m starting to see these nets all over the place. Seems like everyone has them and I hear they are very easy to travel with when it comes to flying via plane. Whether it’s for protecting pitchers throwing during practice or hitting into during pre-game warm-up or simply for hitting practice, this net is easy to use, set up, and transport! Buy Now
	The Softball Drill Book Whoa! That’s a lot of drills and ideas for any coach to use in practice. This book covers:  training fundamental skills position-specific skills tactical drills and more!
	Coach’s Guide to Game-Winning Softball Drills Nuff said. Really. Who wouldn’t want a book full of game winning softball drills by Michelle Smith? This book will help you coach your players to:  Master the mechanics of footwork for fielding with hustle Swing for the fences and hit the fastest pitches Catch the ball proactively and throw it quickly and accurately to its target Defend the infield and outfield with speed and confidence Run the bases swiftly and strategically Marc Dagenais actually did a video review of this book. If you want to see it, click on this link to see what Marc and other people think of this book!
	Throw Like a Girl by Jennie Finch Yup, yup! It’s the brand new book out by Jennie Finch. Since I’m doing so much reading this year, this would definitely be one I pick up! Apparently it’s a great book for any parent or young lady that wants to participate in any sport. Throw Like a Girl inspires, motivates, and answers questions about issues specific to today s female athletes including but not limited to: body image femininity vs. sports peer pressure nutrition and the balancing act today s young women construct between school, extra-curricular activities, family, and friends What a great gift this would make. Buy Now
	Padded Bucket Lid/Seat What can I say? I’m 6 months pregnant. Regular buckets are terrible to sit on right now! What’s you’re excuse for wanting one? I know you do. lol Hey, there’s even a blue one available. This bucket: Fits standard 4, 5 or 6 gallon plastic bucket EZ on- EZ off Made in USA Buy Now

Click Here to Download the Registration Form

Coach Darrick Brown
*Head Coach Chicago Bandits (National Pro Fastpitch)
*Led Chicago Bandits to 2011 NPF World Series Championship
*Owner/Lead Instructor at Brown’s Fastpitch Academy (Kalamazoo, MI)
*19 years instructing hitting/pitching/catching/fielding
*19 years coaching travel, high school, college, and professional levels
*22 years playing men’s fastpitch softball in Michigan and Indiana
*2011 Member of King and His Court
*One of the top hitting and pitching instructors in the sport today

NPF All-Star Megan Wiggins
*Outfielder Chicago Bandits (National Pro Fastpitch)
*Member of the 2011 NPF World Champions Chicago Bandits
*1st Team All NPF 2011
*4 year starter at University of Georgia
*3 time All SEC 1st Team
*Holds Georgia record with 121 extra base hits (61 2B, 14 3B, 46 HR)
*Career Stats at GA: .370 avg, 61 2B, 14 3B, 46 HR, 75 BB, 203 RBI’s
*One of the top young players in the sport today

Click Here to Download the Registration Form

I never understood why athletes get dismissed from job opportunities because they have “no work experience.”  I didn’t have a “real job” where I filled out tax forms and all that until after I was done playing softball.  Many employers seemed to look down on me because I had no “work experience” even though I had over a decade of experience in athletics.  Each time I got that vibe from an employer, the same thing ran through my mind, “I probably have more of the qualities that make a good employee than some of the candidates on your list that DO have a little part-time work experience under their belt, but have never played sports in their lives.”

Turns out I was right.  My employers often expressed how impressed they were with the kind of employee I was even though I hadn’t been in the workforce long.  I strongly believe the qualities that make me a good employee came from and were solidified by the training in my softball playing years.  Turns out, you really do learn valuable life lessons in sports!

Here are 10 Things Good Softball Players and Good Employees Have in Common

1. They know how to work well with others.
2. They don’t care if something is “not my job” if it has to be done, they find a way to help get it done!
3. They are the kind of person that others WANT to work with.
4. They understand the concept of working toward a common goal.
5. They know how to overcome adversity.  They don’t just give up all hope each time a challenge or obstacle comes up.
6. They take responsibility for their own performance instead of waiting for someone to make them strive for excellence.
7. They are capable of thinking on their feet and handle unexpected issues.  They don’t wait for someone to baby sit them through their every move.
8. They typically arrive early, not just “on time,” and are very rarely, if ever, late.  If they are going to be late, they conscientiously make sure their superior knows what’s going on before they were expected to arrive.
9. They diligently work on their craft and their effort is second to none.
10. They have a positive, can-do attitude!

What do you think?  Agree or disagree?

I think we can probably add even more to this list!  If you have suggestions, please leave a comment with your ideas below. 

Why did it take so long?

• There really wasn’t a bat on the market that we liked and she performed well with
• $300 is a LOT of money and is not something I’ll spend at the drop of a hat, so this was a well thought out purchase
• The last few years we had to pay big dentist bills for the kids so no one got a new bat!

Now she’s playing on a team where everyone has their own bats.  Well, most players have their own bats.  Because my daughter didn’t have her own bat, she always had to borrow someone else’s.  As a parent, I feel like it was a bit of an imposition for her to borrow other player’s personal bats that their parents had spent hundreds of dollars on.  Plus, if the person who owned the bat she usually borrows didn’t show up on a given practice or game day, that meant she had to ask to borrow someone else’s bat which usually didn’t have the same specs as the bat she usually used.

We finally go to the point where:

• we didn’t really want her to have to borrow all the time
• she was finally hitting pretty decently with a particular bat that she liked
• she was taking care of her grades and other responsibilities at home

So we bit the bullet and dropped about $300 on a bat.  Which one did we get?

As the title to this post and the picture above suggests, we picked up a Louisville Slugger TPS Xeno (-8). Most players here swing the -10, but the -8 actually swings pretty light for that weight and since my daughter is not as big as other players, she needs all the help she can get.

Things I like about this softball bat:

• first and foremost, DD loves it (both my 15yo and my 12yo) – it’s important that players are comfortable with the bat they use.
• second, it’s hot out of the wrapper – this bat doesn’t really need a break in period.
• third, it’s loud – makes your hit sound more impressive which can be a good thing if you’re trying to make a good impression for recruiting purposes. It can also leave an “Oh wow, that was a great hit” impression on the pitcher or defense which could *possibly* work in your favor when it comes to the mental game. In other words, the loud sound *might* provide some intimidation factor for you as a hitter.
• fourth, it looks cool – most male coaches say this doesn’t matter, but most players will tell you that it does (refer to first reason listed above).

Things I don’t care for:

• it cost $300 (lol) but most “good” bats do, so it’s not really a major factor when deciding between this bat and other popular softball bats.
• it’s loud – while that does provide some advantages listed above, it also alerts the defense to the hit. When you hear something like that, as a defender, you’re immediately on your toes and jarred into awareness of a solid hit.
• short life span? Now I haven’t measured or tested this at all. It’s just a perception I have from seeing this bat in action on other teams and with other players. While this bat IS hot out of the wrapper, it doesn’t seem to have as long a pop-life as other bats which make require a longer break-in period. In other words, while it comes to life faster, it also seems to die faster.

I often hear parents ask whether or not they should put they daughter on a more competitive and more successful team.  If that’s what your daughter is ready for and wants to do, generally speaking, it’s a great idea. However, one parent in particular mentioned that the coach of a team they were considering had a long reputation of dropping existing players for latest, hottest new recruits.  This parent had seen it happen.  Girls were dropped from this team after a year or two in favor of bringing on other good players that became available.  I was thinking his daughter was probably one of the “new” ones being brought on in favor of an existing player they wanted to or had already dropped.  Obviously he was worried about that same thing happening to his daughter.

Now it’s one thing to move forward as a program by removing players who are not a good fit and bringing on ones that are a better fit.  In that situation, it’s probably best for all parties involved even though it’s a difficult situation to have to go through on both sides.

However it’s another thing when the coach just likes to “trade up” any chance they get as if players are nothing but commodities.  Personally, it’s not a team environment I’m going to voluntarily sign my daughter up to be in (and pay to be a part of on top of that).  I want her to be surrounded by quality players and coaches.  I’m not going to sign her up for a team that happens to have good players because the coach possesses the skills of a smooth talking but sleezy car salesman and has happened to convince a handful of parents to come join his team.  It’s just not something I’d want to be a part of, nor is it a situation I want to voluntarily put my child in.

Remember, this is youth sports we’re talking about. While softball has definitely become more and more competitive and some of it is very, very serious, there are still limits to which I will go in order for my daughter to “get ahead.”  That’s not something I go after “at all costs” and certainly not at the expense of going against my values and not at the expense of my daughter’s experience with the game.  I prefer not to put her in a situations where she may get the idea that I actually approve of that type of “ambition.”

There are other ways – ways that you can stand behind and say you believe in wholeheartedly.  There are other teams – teams that you are not the least bit ashamed to be associated with.

No coach is perfect. Every coach has their weaknesses, but I can accept that a coach does not know everything.  That’s okay, but I’m not going to choose a coach who “can help my daughter get to college” but does things in a way that conflicts completely with my principles with over one who embodies the integrity with which I want my daughter to play this game with but may not have the same connections and/or college recruiting knowledge.

Remember, it’s not coaches job to get your daughter into college anyway.  Your daughter’s coach is just one tool, one of the many resources along her softball and college recruiting journey.  Ultimately your daughter’s college recruiting process is not her coaches responsibility.  It’s hers and yours.  This is her future.  This is her life.  This is your child’s future.  This is your child’s life.

Don’t wait for someone else to “take care of it” for you. Get informed.  Talk to others that DO have the expertise you need.  Ask questions.  Be proactive in the journey and in your quest to learn what you need to learn to make sure things work out well for your child.

In other words, if there is a great coach out there that may be a little weaker than another in one certain area, there are usually ways to work around that.  That one area, in and of itself, is not a good reason to choose or dismiss a coach and their program.

Remember to look at the big picture…..

• What is most important to you in your daughter’s softball experience and journey?
• What is most important to her?
• What principles, characteristics, or qualities are non-negotiable when it comes to the environment you want your daughter experiencing this game in?
• What areas can you “give” a little on?
• What weaknesses in potential programs can you work around?

Knowing the answers to these questions helps a great deal when choosing a team for your daughter.  Oh, and if you have the chance, talk to parents who already have daughters on the team.  Talk to parent of players who used to be with the team but aren’t any more.  What do they like most?  What don’t they like about the program?  What is the biggest thing, if any, they wish they could change about the program or team?  If they are no longer there, why did they leave?

Hope that helps!

Coach Darrick and Megan will go over both offense and defense. Plus a 1-hour pitching session will also be available to pitchers after the regular session both on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Looking forward to learning from the best in Pro Fastpitch!

Hope to see you there!

If you want to receive e-mail notification with the latest news and details about the clinic, please sign up HERE.