The Truth About Nerves of Steel

“Emotions are information. You need to be able to FEEL and process all emotions.”
– Kristen Boss

Believe it or not, this is part of “mental toughness.”

But I didn’t understand this concept until I became an adult.

And it’s not just for athletes.

This concept of being able to feel AND process all emotions is just as important for parents and coaches as it is for entrepreneurs, managers, teachers, and business owners.

As an athete …

No one ever told me that emotions were information.

No one ever told me the importance of FEELING all my emotions either.
Because, on the field, if you can have “nerves of steel” instead of feeling the nervousness, anxiousness, upset in the moment, it’s helpful … advised and admired even.

To be able to keep your game face ON and NOT be up and down and all around depending on what’s happening in the game … as an athlete, you learn that it’s BENEFICIAL to NOT FEEL all over the place during the course of a season, a game, or a play.

As a result, I learned, very well if I might add, how to NOT FEEL the less than “positive” stuff.

But, long term, that “coping” mechanism wasn’t helpful for me.

I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I was actually afraid to let myself “get down” because, honestly, I had no idea if I could get back UP again after that.

I figured, better to just stay up ??‍♀️

Why let myself get “down” in the first place. In sports, I learned it serves to purpose. So, I avoided it at all times.

But now I know, it’s OKAY, healthier even, to FEEL your emotions.
Finally allowing myself to feel them was NOT at all easy at first. It was downright difficult and draining.

I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings. But going through that, learning how to actually process emotions rather than ignore them, pretend they’re not there, or stuff them away somewhere, is what now gives me certainty that I can get THROUGH them … that they do pass … and that just because I may FEEL horrible at any given moment, doesn’t mean I always will.

With experience after experience of feeling, and moving through the emotion, or letting it move THROUGH me, I know that the less I resist, the quicker it, and I, move on.

I don’t attach myself to the feeling or emotion. I can just let it be. I also do my best to give myself grace in that process vs beating myself up for “feeling bad” instead of “being positive.”

That doesn’t mean it’s painless and it’s definitely been a process.

But such a powerful one.

What are some ways you allow yourself (or others) the time and space to FEEL … to actually PROCESS emotions vs just stuff them down and away behind the “game face?”


*Note: I realize there can be other factors involved that may not make this process work exactly like this for everyone, which is a whole separate post/conversation.

If that’s something you’re dealing with and want to know if the oils below (if not the process described above) can help you, please feel free to reach out so we can discuss exactly what you’re up against and begin finding solutions that can help shift things for you ?

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