Before we get to the tool …
What’s your super power as a coach/parent?
For me, it’s being able to maintain my composure, stay steady, be even keeled even in the face of difficulty, challenge, adversity.
This was true for me as an athlete … I specifically remember thinking that I am NOT going to let my opponents know, via my body language or otherwise, if/when I am ruffled, unsure, under pressure, etc.
I ALWAYS wanted to carry myself with confidence even if I didn’t FEEL confident. In other words, I got really good at putting my “game face on.”
And that served me very well as an athlete, and I took it with me into being a coach/parent.
Especially, after an experience in my first year of assisting …
I was helping my dad coach at Chaminade University. I distinctly remember this one game, one inning really … actually, just part of an inning … on a road trip we went on.
I don’t remember the exact score at the time. It was a close game, probably middle innings. Not early in the game, but not late either.
Our team was on defense.
Again, I don’t remember specifics, all I know is there were a couple of mishaps and a few runners ended up on base.
It was one of those situations where you can just feel the momentum beginning to shift. You can feel the tension in the players increasing as one mistake happened after another.
And, what I do clearly remember is the reaction of my dad and his assistant coach. They were both losing it!
And by losing it, I don’t mean getting more loud or intense in their coaching of the players on the field. I don’t mean getting belligerent in any kind of way toward anyone either.
But they both lost their composure. I remember seeing them leap up out of their seat after one of the errors. All kinds of “oh my goodness I cannot believe that just happened” body language going on.
I also remember seeing the infield looking into the dugout and you could just see that their feeling of, “Oh no, we’re really in trouble now” being magnified by what they witnessed happening on the sideline. And not in trouble from the coaches, but in trouble in the game. In a major jam that, after seeing the coaches reactions, you could just tell they did NOT feel confident they would get out of.
The funny thing is, no one ever scored yet!
The score was, literally, still exactly the SAME as when the inning started. In my mind, NO reason to panic yet at all. Those runners don’t really hurt you unless you let them score. And that hadn’t even happened yet!
But that experience just really imprinted in my mind that that sort of dramatics on the sideline do not help. I filed that away and took it with me.
A few years later, I attended a clinic put on my Cindy Bristow, and she shared a story about how her team helped her learn a valuable lesson about her body language in the dugout.
They even gave it a name … HHS … stands for Hanging Head Syndrome 🙂
Her team expressed to her (and kudos to her for opening up that line of communication, being open to receiving it, and creating a safe environment in which her athletes could share this with her) that HHS is what they called it when they looked into the dugout and saw coach hanging her head.
They told her how it made them feel and the impact it had on them to see that happening. Of course, it wasn’t her intention to be unhelpful and she wasn’t even fully conscious of doing it or how it affected her team.
But after hearing what her players had to say, she was much more intentional and aware of how she carried herself on the field and in the dugout.
That story resonated with me and I carried that with me as well.
So, as a coach, and as a parent, one of the things I like to do is do my very best to maintain my composure at all times. I like to be able to carry myself with confidence no matter what is happening.
Especially if my team/child(ren) are feeling the pressure or feeling nervous/stressed/anxious about a big game, match, or situation … I want them to be to feel more calm and confident if/when they look at me. I want to exude my belief that they CAN and will execute and perform at/near their very best despite the circumstances.
My thought process is … they don’t need to see me freaking out when they’re freaking out. That’s not going to help them and may, unintentionally, accidentally increase their level of freak out just when they don’t need it.
I mean, if I can’t even handle the situation without freaking out, how can they possibly hope to come through it okay?
This is why Balance is one of my favorite essential oils to use on a regular basis. Applying one drop to the bottom of my feet each morning reminds me to stay balanced, even when life or various situations try to throw me off balance. It reminds me that my intention is to say level headed and even keeled even when I am being provoked or challenged in some way shape or form. It reminds me that I want to be a calm and steady, well grounded presence in the lives of those around me.
Granted, that’s me.
Your super power may be something completely different. Maybe you’re the high energy type that lifts others up and gets them pumped even when most people would be tucking their tail and beginning to give up. Lemon or Peppermint might be a great choice to amplify or maximize that super power.
Maybe you’re the high intensity type that just exudes that persistence and determination even when the odds are against you. Blue Tansy is once that I can think of that could work well for you.
During the pandemic, when emotions were high and there was a lot of conflict in our communities and country … when conversations could get tough, frustrating, tense very quickly … I remember feeling so much more riled up than I usually get about anything. And I knew I needed a lot more compassion for those I was interacting with, regardless of whether or not we agreed or saw things the same way.
Magnolia is the oil I reached for each morning, or when those feelings of being riled up got intense. Magnolia is also known as the Oil of Compassion and encourages us to interact with mercy, compassion, and greater empathy so that we can continue to live in more love and harmony (rather than with hate and division) despite disagreements or differences.
Whatever what your super power(s) may be, one of the things I love about essential oils, is that it is a simple, yet powerful, tool that supports you in consistently BEing the kind of leader you want to BE for your team, your children, your family, your community, and beyond <3
Want to learn more?
Check out the free Get Your Mind Right class I did on Facebook.
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Yes! Training and support on how to use your oils is included!
I look forward to working with you on this journey <3