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Got “Haters?” Me too. This is what I like to do …

by Stacie ~ October 20th, 2017.
Filed under: Softball Tips, Stacie's Thoughts | No Comments » |

how to deal with haters
You know how some people say their haters motivate them? This post is not that.

I see things a little differently.

I wanted to share my thoughts, in case they might be useful to you in seasons of life when your haters are getting to you a bit (or maybe a lot).

Thoughts on haters …

1. There will ALWAYS be some, no matter how amazing you are or get. In fact, you may even have more haters the more awesome you become 🙂

People, generally, don’t hate on you less when you prove them wrong. They typically hate you more because they end up feeling even more frustrated and more annoyed by your success and achievements.

2. Haters deserve NONE of your time, attention, or energy. NONE. No explanations. No justifications. Nothing.

3. Haters certainly don’t deserve to be the reason why you go farther and push harder and achieve more.
If you want to let someone be your “motivation,” the reason why you go above and beyond, let it be the people who love and support and believe in you!

THOSE people deserve to be part of the reason you rise.

Yes, hate can be a fuel that burns bright and hot, but it’s also destructive source that leaves you feeling consumed and completely drained by it.

Love, on the other hand, isn’t referred to as the most powerful force in the universe for nothing. It is a fuel that burns strong and steady and leaves you feeling whole and joyful and strong and fulfilled and grateful.

If you’re going to be “motivated” by something, choose to be motivated by LOVE, not hate.

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Sports Parenting Tip: Don’t RUSH Anything

by Stacie ~ October 19th, 2017.
Filed under: Sports Parenting | No Comments » |

sports parenting tip: don't rush

This is something I’m learning as a parent. When our kids are little, it’s so common for us to want to help them get to the next thing and the next milestone and the next developmental stage. At least, at that point, we’re usually super excited over and happily celebrate each step, no matter how early or “late” it may happen.

But why are we in such a rush?

Why not simply enjoy THIS stage and this phase and this time for as long as it needs to be there. And then celebrate and enjoy the next when it comes?

Perhaps we feel the pressure of college coming up or having to make sure they know this by then because of what society expects.
But who decided that that was the best timeline to begin with? And why do we let that dictate how we interact with, see, and speak to our child?

What if their path is something completely different? And why do we tend to feel like that would be “wrong” or “scarier” than just going about life in the way that’s expected by others? Why do we choose to fear allowing them to develop and grow and learn in the natural ways and timing they were uniquely designed to?

Why do we tend to stop celebrating each small step and, instead, choose to fret more and more over where they’re not yet?

I’m learning to slow down a lot more, appreciate a lot more, and savor the moments that ARE rather than missing out on them by wishing the future, or future accomplishments/achievements/abilities, would arrive sooner.

What about you? How often do you feel the pressure to have your child do more, achieve more, know more, be more? Rather than basking in the joy of who and what they are right now, in this moment, faults and all?

How do you feel when someone truly LOVES and appreciates you exactly as you are, even when you know you’re not perfect, and you can feel their deep sense of confidence and belief in what they KNOW you are capable of and KNOW you are on the way to becoming, as if your “success” is an eventuality, a certainty, and 100% inevitable?

We can BE that for our children.

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Performance Tip: Keep a “blue” head

by Stacie ~ October 17th, 2017.
Filed under: Coach Softball, Sports Parenting | No Comments » |

I read an article about the All Blacks this morning.

They are one of THE most successful rugby organizations in the world.

I was first interested in them because I was listening to Sara Erdner talk about a more holistic, whole child, approach to coaching that does not resort to, and rely on, fear to generate “results.”

She’s the one who mentioned the culture and philosophy of the All Blacks.

Anyway, the article I read had this tip I’m sharing below.

I love it because I think it’s excellent, not only for players, but for coaches and parents also …

Keep a blue head

Following their arguably premature exit at the 2003 World Cup, the All Blacks worked with forensic psychiatrist Ceri Evans to understand how the brain works under pressure. They wanted to overcome their habit of choking.

‘Red Head’ is an unresourceful state in which you are off task, panicked and ineffective. ‘Blue Head’, on the other hand, is an optimal state in which you are on task and performing to your best ability.

The All Blacks use triggers to switch from Red to Blue. Richie McCaw stamps his feet, literally grounding himself, while Kieran Read stares at the farthest point of the stadium, searching for the bigger picture.

Using these triggers, the players aim to achieve clarity and accuracy, so they can perform under pressure.”

Recognizing that you’re in that state of “red head” is obviously essential. Then, knowing and acknowledging that’s it’s not the most helpful state to be in is also necessary before you can ever hope to make this powerful shift.

I know parents/coaches who do the majority of their parenting/coaching or “teaching,” as a reaction to an event or behavior that upset them or mad them frustrated, irritated, or angry. I’ve been there too.

Sometimes, I still speak and make decisions in that state of upset or frustration. I’m learning to FIRST calm down, and return to that “blue head,” state BEFORE communicating with my family. It makes me much more effective in delivering messages in a way that can inspire true learning and lasting change vs just triggering and creating a “reaction” to my negative stimulus in my kids. I certainly don’t want to teach my kids (or others) to simply react to all the negative situations or occurrences in life as a way to live, though that’s what we often inadvertently train them to do when we choose to use fear to “teach.”

And I certainly know players who purposefully want to “get mad” so they can play better. Or coaches who want their team to “get mad” so they can focus more and try harder.

But that kind of “motivation” is fleeting. And it’s effects hit or miss, especially if your opponent knows how to use your anger and frustration against you.

There are much better ways to perform at your best and get yourself into that state of clarity and flow and much closer to your optimal level of performance.

If you are looking for ways to add these kinds of concepts to your peak performance skill set, what better way than to have someone walk you through it and help you do it?

If you haven’t yet registered for Coach Jenn’s Zen Hitting program, you have until OCTOBER 21st to save $20 on a truly transformative experience.

Go to staciemahoe.com/zen to get the promo code that saves you $20.

Then go to ZenHitting.com to get into this inaugural session before it fills up!

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