I’ve been quiet for a while. Mostly because I don’t know what to write. I used to be immersed in the world of softball. Softball was easy to write about. My brain often processes concepts and works things out in terms of softball.
But life has shifted. I went through a very difficult time at the end of 2013 and on through 2014. This year has been amazing, in SO many ways. But pain still remains. Healing takes time. And the critical lessons I’m learning now, the thoughts on my mind, are no longer about softball strategy or strength and conditioning. Those used to be some of my favorite things.
Lately, my thoughts and real life efforts have shifted to …
- ways to care for yourself so you can be your best for others
- helping others experience more love, peace, and joy in their home (especially if your life is that of a busy sports family!)
- loving more and criticizing less (it’s a work in progress)
- becoming a true leader with the heart of a servant, even in my own family and with my own kids and spouse
- relationship and connection are essential in coaching, in business, in life, in parenting, in everything
And I don’t know how that all fits in here. So I’ve avoided it at times. It’s not easy to write about. Not everything I say is going to be popular. I’d gotten used to that fact when all I spoke about was softball strategy and coaching and training. I know not everyone agrees with everything I write, but that’s okay. I really didn’t care. Those who needed it would stick around, those who don’t wouldn’t. No biggie.
But family stuff, life stuff, relationship stuff … it’s deeper. It’s more meaningful, more personal. It’s more scary to share and put out there.
But a friend of mine just said, “If I find that I’m the same as I was 6 months ago, it means I got comfortable and stopped growing.”
So here’s to changing, shifting, growing, learning…
I also keep hearing messages about how scary and hard and challenging it is any time you’re ready to grow and expand. You will go through all the feelings of doubt and uncertainty you finally got a handle on at the level you were at.
So, that’s where I find myself now. Full of uncertainty about how to move forward.
Sometimes I wish I could just talk about happy, fun things. Like softball cheers and fun success quotes. “Everyone” would like that. “Everyone” would agree with it and feel happy to have come across my website or Facebook page.
It’s funny because there are so many areas in which I feel like I’ve finally gotten to the point where I don’t care what other people think. Then there are all these new thoughts and new awarenesses and new lessons learned and new perspectives from which I see things, and I WISH someone had had the courage to share the all with me much sooner. Maybe it would have spared us the heartache we’ve endured …
which makes me think, “I can’t just sit here and keep those things from other families. But what if people don’t like it? What if I lose all the fans and readers and email subscribers I spent years serving?”
Right back to worrying about what other people think … something I remind others of often. lol I guess we all need those reminders. Maybe the reason I’m in a position to share that message all the time is so that *I* won’t forget! We are always a work in progress right?
So at the risk of you leaving and never coming back, I want you to know …
- It’s okay for you to love and enjoy your child as they are, mistakes and faults and all. Life is too short to live angry or disappointed and none of us are promised tomorrow. If that last interaction you had (or the one you’re about to have) was your last, would you be sorry it happened?
- Your worth and value as a parent is NOT tied to your child’s achievements nor to the mistakes they make.
- It’s okay to be close to your child. Seriously, relationship and connection, strengthen both. Nurture both, in every way you can, in everything you do. Rudeness, and being unkind, does not do that. It’s okay to be nice to others, even to your own kids.
- True leadership, servant leadership is admired and desired in business and in coaching youth sports … it even works in parenting too. Leadership is leadership. Successful leadership principles work, in various situations, for people of all ages, even kids. They are people too. When you treat them as such, they respond as such.
- When in doubt, choose love. When it’s hard, choose love. Even when everyone else thinks they don’t deserve it, choose love.
- Yes, life will be disappointing at times and hard, and maybe even cruel, to our children. We don’t need to add to it. We can be the safe place they can turn to, draw strength from, when life gets rough.
- You don’t have to change or “fix” your child. Love them. Stay engaged with them. Connect with them. Support them. Guide them. Work with them. And BE the change you want to see!
MY INVITATIONS TO YOU
1. Celebrate your child – Earlier this year I created the Celebrate Your Child Facebook Group in an effort to support you in these concepts I shared above. You’re more than welcome to join us there. I think it’s important for parents to have a strong support system when choosing to go against the cut throat mentality that seems to be taking over youth sports today. But I haven’t been able to keep up with the group the way I want to thus far. If you’d like to take a part in supporting other parents in this manner, please contact me about filling an admin position in that group.
2. Be your best – This year, I did something I’ve never done before. I began using essential oils. I had no idea how much they’d do for me. I thought I was getting them just to help my family with the typical aches and pains that come with being so very active.
Then something unexpected happened. I began realizing just how much they were helping me be better, in every day life, for the people who matter most and for others I serve.
If you want the details on what my favorites are and how I use them every day, I’d love to chat with you. I’ve had the privilege of seeing these precious and beautiful oils change people’s lives in ways they didn’t even realize was possible. Mine included. Perhaps they can do the same for you. Shoot me a message at oils [at] staciemahoe.com and we’ll set up a time to talk 🙂
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking time out of your day to stop by and read this. I appreciate you. May you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. From our family to yours, we wish you the best in 2016!
Stacie Mahoe shares lessons learned from decades around the diamond. Enjoy her unique insights on softball and life from years as a player, coach, parent, and fan of the game.